SirNoobs Meets the Eternal Matriarch And She Wasn't Much Pleased - A Saga

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SirNoobs Meets the Eternal Matriarch And She Wasn't Much Pleased - A Saga

Post by AlexisMagnus » Fri Oct 30, 2020 1:18 pm

Hi all,

Some time ago, I was thinking about writing a walkthrough of sorts for the Matriarch Domain map, an area I enjoyed exploring a lot. Even though it's not 100% finished, it already works quite well, and the story behind is well written and consistent (thanks CIAssassin and Egg!).

As I was compiling information for it, many crazy ideas passed through my mind, as usual, but this time they were too many, and demanding to be told. For this reason, I decided to write them all into a fan fiction story instead, and write the walkthrough later.

Please note that I never wrote anything apart from e-mails, stupid posts and code, so it will probably look quite crude. If you'd be so kind as to give your feedback, I'll know if it's worth the effort to keep writing it - I have only the first chapter ready yet, and I estimate that the whole story will require several of them.

Thanks, and I hope you enjoy!

SirNoobs Meets the Eternal Matriarch And She Wasn't Much Pleased - A Saga

Chapter #1: The beginning

At the 7th day of Winternights of the 78th year of the Mothra, as per the Zulgalorian calendar, I, Carago from Izumi, senior clergyman, will testify now by my own hand the facts and events related to the remarkable dwarven warrior and chef SirNoobs' quest to find and defeat the legendary Eternal Matriarch, in the fair lands of Maeondir. All the facts stated here correspond to the truth, or almost the truth, a concept which can be further discussed at Amphibians 14:30 Scripture Discussion Forum, all Thursday nights except holidays at Izumi's Inn (open bar during sessions).

First, I must tell that I own a small brewery on the top floor of the famous Izumi Inn, and that was how I first met SirNoobs, who was a regular customer. As it would be expectable, a proud beer producer as myself and an enthusiastic beer quaffer as himself were bound to be friends, which eventually happened. Our friendship grew up with time, and he now rents a small bed on my brewery, where he rests when he's not hunting monsters and beasts, or paying homage to my modest barrels.

One day, not long ago, he stormed into the brewery, very excited, and told me about this grand new quest that was assigned to him by Lord Byron in person: find and defeat evil Lord Brownthorne in Maeondir. He should ask instructions and guidance to Lord Farimond, and free the world from this growing menace. And he asked if I, as an experienced scholar, would like to follow him and record his glorious feats to be presented later to Lord Byron.

I must say I accepted, but for different reasons, and wasn't feeling enthusiastic at all. As a religious person, I shouldn't pay heed to gossip, but I heard more than once stories about this quest, which has allegedly been assigned to numerous other adventurers, but was in fact a scam: Sin'Vraal the daemon would be coordinating efforts with Byron, Farimond and Brownthorne to run some sort of arena show, where imps -- gambling addicts by nature -- would place bets on the fights, with Sin'Vraal working as organizer and bookmaker. Some imps would even pay extra to be present at Brownthorne's very roof, to watch the battle from a privileged place, and even face the challenger themselves - Sin'Vraal, powerful in the magic arts, would come after each battle and resurrect everyone, so they'd be safe. So, as often as possible, Byron would send challengers to Farimond, who would then send them to Sin'Vraal, who would by his turn offer to 'join' the adventurer (sending a clone to 'battle' Brownthorne, so no problem if it died), and announce the new incoming challenge to the hellspawn community. Everyone would be happy, the mighty lords would be handsomely paid without even have to deal with each other, and winning adventurers would be cast to some horrid parallel reality apocalyptic world, to ensure they wouldn't be seen or cause problems later.

Even knowing that all this could be true, I wrote as many Sanct Lor scrolls as I could carry, gathered supplies and writing material for my notes, and prepared myself to depart with SirNoobs. After all, someone would have to ressurrect him (or bring him back from some parallel world?) after everything was done. I couldn't hope to dissuade him: if his natural stubbornness wasn't enough, his intelligence is not exactly high, or even average. Beer certainly doesn't help in that field, since he refuses to drink anything except extra stout (beer connoisseurs will understand).


It was a cold winter morning when we left. SirNoobs produced his moon stone artifact, uttered the power words, and a shining gate rose from the ground in front of us. We both stepped through, and arrived in front of Castle Farimond, where we were supposed to present ourselves to Lord Farimond. We called up at the gates, and, instead of waiting we expected, we were immediately escorted by two stout guards, with great rush, to the Throne Room. As we entered, Lord and Lady Farimond were already present, watching us from their rich thrones, and we also noticed Jugular the jester observing us from a corner, with a frightened look, eyes wide open, as if he feared to say anything.

SirNoobs bowed respectfully, and, as he started to explain his errand and deliver Lord Byron's letter, he was interrupted by Lord Farimond: "There's no time for this! We have a much more urgent demand! We need a bold adventurer, willing to save our fair lands from tragedy and destruction!"

"Please let us know what disturbs you, noble sir. You know my axe is at your service! How can we help?", said Noobs before I could stop him.

Lord Farimond sighed and said, "An ancient enemy has been rising in power and followers, and only recently we've been aware of it ! We're about to be attacked and overrun by dragons and their wretched draconian dragon breeders!"

"But, sir, we always knew about them. They live not far south from here, in their enclosed valley, and seldom leave. Why did they turn against your people?"

"I'd rather not discuss this right now", said Lord Farimond, looking uncomfortable. "But the bad news is that a new leader has risen among them. The most powerful Matriarch that ever lived."


"I don't know all the details, but I think it's a dragon or draconian queen of sorts. There used to be several of them, but I heard one of them defeated and absorbed the power of all others, becoming an extremely powerful beast. She names herself the Eternal Matriarch and she aims to rule the world."

Lady Farimond was very nervous. "They've taken down the bloody Blood Queen !!", she screamed, almost in panic. "If they can do that, they'll just wipe us out! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!"

"Please calm down a bit, dear. So, SirDorks, we now grant you the honor of finding and defeating this monster, having my full permission to slay anyone or anything that tries to stop you. If you do that, you'll have the eternal gratitude of our people and this House."

"It's SirNoobs, sir, but please consider me your servant. I'll find this evil Matriarch and put an end to her conquering plans."

"We're all very grateful that you accept being our champion. Now go, with our blessing. We wish you success and luck on your demand, and may the gods favor you!"

And so we bowed once more and left. Jugular the jester did the same, and, as we reached the corridor, he called us with a 'Pssst!' , beckoning us to follow him. We did so, and, after walking through some corridors and stairs, he entered a room and opened a small door to what looked like a broom closet. From there, he produced some pole wrapped in thick cloth, put it on a large table and unwrapped it carefully. It was a magnificent spear, with a glowing blade and runes written on its handle.

"That old miser has a huge collection of weapons and treasure, but wouldn't spare any of it even to save his own arse", he said bitterly. "Your mission seems impossible, but at least I'd like you to have a better chance, since we haven't the strength to face this new power", he said. He touched the spear's handle carefully. "We collected this spear from the dungeons a few weeks ago, from a dead adventurer. I haven't shown it to his lordship yet, and no one seems to understand what it does or how to use it. Please take it, in case it can help you in an emergency, as it seems to be very powerful."

"Spears are not the weapon of choice for dwarves, but I accept your gift, my friend, thank you very much! Who knows? We can always use it to cook dragon bits over the campfire, huh? Har, har har!", he laughed loudly. I tried not to look too embarrassed, and failed.

SirNoobs wrapped the spear again, tied it to his backpack, and there we went, leaving Farimond Castle and an astonished Jugular behind us.
(aka SirNoobs)

-- "If brute force doesn't work, you're not using enough."

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Re: SirNoobs Meets the Eternal Matriarch And She Wasn't Much Pleased - A Saga

Post by LaughingCoyote » Sun Nov 01, 2020 7:55 pm

""That old miser has a huge collection of weapons and treasure, but wouldn't spare any of it even to save his own arse""
NPC Quest givers everywhere. :D
Hecate wrote: I feel even more evil than ever, milking cows before killing them.
eggmceye wrote:pretty cool having vigour put in the manual after 14 years X-D

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Re: SirNoobs Meets the Eternal Matriarch And She Wasn't Much Pleased - A Saga

Post by DrRude » Mon Nov 02, 2020 12:13 am

AlexisMagnus wrote:
Fri Oct 30, 2020 1:18 pm
Hi all,

Some time ago, I was thinking about writing a walkthrough of sorts for the Matriarch Domain map, an area I enjoyed exploring a lot. Even though it's not 100% finished, it already works quite well, and the story behind is well written and consistent (thanks CIAssassin and Egg!).
Enjoyable read, thanks! Will have to give it a try.

I'll be going back to Tibia next week.
Posts: 43
Joined: Sat May 07, 2016 4:01 am

Re: SirNoobs Meets the Eternal Matriarch And She Wasn't Much Pleased - A Saga

Post by AlexisMagnus » Mon Nov 02, 2020 10:03 am

Thank you very much for the support :)

I'll try to publish one chapter per week, let's see how it goes.
(aka SirNoobs)

-- "If brute force doesn't work, you're not using enough."

I'll be going back to Tibia next week.
Posts: 43
Joined: Sat May 07, 2016 4:01 am

Re: SirNoobs Meets the Eternal Matriarch And She Wasn't Much Pleased - A Saga

Post by AlexisMagnus » Sat Nov 07, 2020 9:06 am

Chapter 2 - A Warm Welcome

We packed our horses and moved South, to the mountains. The draconians live in a valley, enclosed by impassable mountains all around, whose only access point is a narrow pass between the mountains, as I learned from SirNoobs.

Our first obstacle was the road itself, which went through a dense forest. SirNoobs halted his horse at the forest's entrance and looked around, suspiciously.

"Is there any problem?", I asked.
"Treants. These buggers can be a pain, and I don't like killing them."
"Oh, that's very thoughtful of you. Wildlife preservation is very..."
"I always have to sharpen my axe after. Ruins the blade."
"Oh. What do you have in mind, then?"
"Scare them off", he said with a smile. He produced a long whistle from his backpack and blew it, producing absolutely no sound.
"How will this scare them off? They don't even have ears! Or are you trying to call your dog?"
"Look behind you."

I saw a huge ball made of bright fire, a couple of miles away, which was growing bigger and coming in our direction. I jumped off my horse and prepared to take cover, but SirNoobs said, "Wait. It's safe."
"What? How can that..."
"You'll see."

As the fireball came nearer, I noticed a shape in the middle of it. It was huge, and flapping its wings. It was a golden dragon, or fire dragon for some, a huge and magnificent beast with golden scales, enveloped in fire and irradiating heat. I had never seen any dragon this size! It landed in a nearby spot and came walking carefully towards us, stopping a few meters away.

It was Calcifer, SirNoobs' faithful companion from past adventures. He mentioned it once or twice, but I never thought he was so ... impressive. They greeted each other like old friends, and SirNoobs introduced us. Apparently, the dragon has heard of me as well.

"So we finally meet, father. I've considered stopping by Izumi and visiting your workshop, but I fear I wouldn't fit in."
"Thank you", I smiled. "You're always welcome to stop by the main square, and I can bring you a dish of hot Golden CrackNuggets from the Inn."
"You're very kind", he replied politely, and turned to SirNoobs. "So, SirNoobs, why did you summon me? Got stuck with something too big for your dwarven arms again?"
"Well", started SirNoobs, there's these treants to scare off..."
"Yeah, right, and after that...?"

SirNoobs explained the whole story. Apart from the obvious assistance to add some firepower (literally) to the party, he also hoped that Calcifer, being a dragon, could reason with the draconian people and avoid a long and bloody battle.

"I doubt it", Calcifer said. "They're a separate folk, have their own cult, and are quite fanatic. But maybe I can intimidate them enough to avoid a carnage."
"And about killing dragons and dragonfolk? Do you have a problem with that?"
"Well, we already killed our share of blood dwarves. Did -you- have any problem?"
"Ok, got it. Let's go, then."

We moved along the road southwards, and soon we had thick forest by both sides. The road seemed well kept, and our journey went with only a few incidents: every now and then, a group of angry treants would try to ambush us, only to flee in panic just after they faced Calcifer's mighty roar and a couple of well placed fireballs (or 'warning shots', as he called them), exploding dangerously close to them. We also met some forest golems, but these feared nothing and had to be either torched down or smashed to pieces, depending on who dealt with them.

After riding for some hours, we finally left the forest's southern edge behind us, and approached the mountains. Tall peaks rose ominously ahead, and I wondered if we'd have to climb much to reach our goal. Horses aren't fit for narrow mountain paths, and get scared easily. I transmitted my concerns to SirNoobs, but he dismissed them. "We'll just leave them loose when we reach the mountain path, and they'll stay grazing around. If they feel threatened, they'll ride back to Farimond Castle. Don't worry, they're too fast to be caught, except maybe by dragons."

We finally reached the nearest mountain base, and we could devise a narrow climbing path not far away. We dismounted, as SirNoobs said, unpacked the horses and left them behind, proceeding to the mountain path.

Everything was strangely quiet. After almost one hour of painful walk upwards, without seeing any living thing, we reached an wider space, where an archway was placed with a magical glowing barrier placed on it. We couldn't go any further without deactivating it, but how?

"So, instead of guarding the path, they decided just to lock it. Very practical, but there must be a way of coming in and out. Calcifer, can you take a look from above?", asked SirNoobs.
Calcifer didn't answer. He leaped upwards with a mighty impulse, flapping his wings and gaining altitude. After a while hovering over us, he landed again.
"There's a wooden lever mounted near a peak to the East", he said. "I bet you need to pull it to open the barrier."
SirNoobs sighed. "A lever? And whey say we dwarves are have no imagination". He paused, looking upwards. "Besides, there's no path leading that way, and it will be a pain to climb that. Can't you pull it yourself?"
"It's a small lever for me, and it's wooden - I'd burn it if I grabbed it. Maybe if you have some metal pole, or a hook?"
"I have this", said SirNoobs, unwrapping the spear he received from Jugular. "It has a wooden handle, but it's magical, I think it won't be damaged by your heat". He handled the spear to Calcifer.

Calcifer seemed to flinch when he awkwardly wielded it. It looked more like a long stick held by his huge claws.
"I don't like this weapon, it feels nasty. Where did you get it?"
"Long story, I'll tell you later. Now be a dear and pull the lever, please."
Calcifer rose again towards the sky, and, shortly after, the magical barrier faded until it disappeared completely. A massive wall with heavy wooden doors was now visible a little further down the path. We waited for Calcifer and proceeded as soon as he landed.

"Look", he said to SirNoobs while returning the spear, "We should talk about this weapon later.", but SirNoobs was observing the doors and paid no attention.
"I guess we should knock?"
"Really?", I asked, puzzled.
"He means knock them down", sighed Calcifer. "One of Noobs' recurrent bad jokes."

As soon as he said this, the doors opened wide, incredibly fast considering their size. From the inside came a battle roar, and dozens of fanatic draconians, wielding strangely shaped weapons and casting spells in all directions, poured through the door. If they didn't slay us, we still risked being trampled to death by them.

There were not enough space for warning shots like before. Not without killing most of our attackers.

SirNoobs was already adopting his battle stance and changing weapons to his fearsome magic mace, more suitable to fight large groups. He held his huge tower shield tightly and his expression became grim. One way or another, it looked like a carnage was about to happen, after all.
(aka SirNoobs)

-- "If brute force doesn't work, you're not using enough."

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